02 Feb 5 Ways to Avoid Emotional Purging After a Divorce
Deciding which of your belongings to keep and which ones will no longer serve you after a divorce is a process that’s often easier said than done. Whether you feel overwhelmed by pain, sadness, and anger, or light, free, and ready to say good riddance to your ex, it’s nearly impossible to keep emotions at bay when considering what to keep and what goes.
It’s common to feel the urge to wipe out every material reminder of your marriage because you (like so many of us!) may have attached sentimental value to your possessions. But before you start throwing away or donating like a boss – whether out of anger or elation – take a beat, collect yourself, and consider doing the following to ensure you’re making rational decisions:
1. See a therapist. You don’t have to be depressed to have reason to seek professional help. A therapist can help you work through your feelings and emotions — whatever they may be — and guide you to seeing things more calmly and clearly. They can help you understand your current feelings and help you get to a better, more stable and happier place.
2. Seek support from close friends or family. So often in life, we feel better about a situation just by talking about it and feeling heard. The divorce process can be emotionally exhausting — no one is expecting you to be strong all the time! Lean on a solid support system around you. Friends and family who know you the best not only make you feel safe, supported and understood, but can also give you some outside perspective that you may find helpful. Planning on burning every photo of you and your ex after an ugly split? That close confidant (while being totally in your corner, of course) might encourage you to get out a box instead of a match because those photos could be very precious to your kids or even grandchildren someday.
3. Talk to your divorce attorney or mediator. You may want to get rid of everything your ex ever touched, but doing so before the time is right can cause huge legal headaches for you in divorce court or mediation and beyond. You should work with your attorney to make sure you and your ex spell out exactly who gets what from the home, even down to the pots and pans. Only after that’s done should you decide what to do with what’s left behind.
4. Call a professional organizer. If you’re just not sure what needs to stay and go, a great professional organizer can be the objective, outside voice of reason you need. She can help you make practical decisions about the items in your home and how or even if they should be put to use.
5. Take a break. You might have had an infuriating interaction with your ex or a court date where things didn’t go your way. Resist the urge to rush home and purge everything from it. Take a breath. Call a friend. Go see a movie. Revisit a hobby you love. Sleep on it. You’ll probably thank yourself in the morning.
If you find that after your divorce, there are things that you don’t necessarily want out of your life forever, but don’t have room for as you transition, Binefit can help. Contact us today at 248-519-2344 to learn how our valet storage services can help you move forward.